Tag Archives: alcohol

The Origins of Pumpkin Beer

New post on Five By Five Hundred about the secret history of that wretched poison that people actually pretend to like. Ugh.

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It was nearing sundown on that late autumn evening, and soon the frost would settle in for the long winter months. Mordecai Willington III was tending to the last of his crops, surveying the remaining gourds that littered his field in a tangled mess of pulp and vine, like a spider’s web in orange, brown, and yellow, speckled with flecks of green. It was the end of the harvest season, and though his yield had been high this year, he wasn’t selling as strongly as he had hoped. Soon the gourds would go to waste, buried beneath the snow along the cold Atlantic coast. Without the money he had hoped to make, his family would be forced to ration their goods until the spring.

Mordecai was gathering the final fresh gourds when a blinding white flashed across the field. It was radiant and burned without pain, as if God Himself…

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More Booze n’ Books

Look, we all know that I love stories and drinking. This is no secret to anyone who’s ever spoken to me for more than a minute. So naturally, I’ve got another article on the topic that’s now live over at Quirk Books. Think of this as a kind of companion piece to my How To Drink Like Your Favorite Writer and A Guide To Pairing Your Comic Books and Beer posts. You liked those, right? Of course you did.

“Seven Cocktail Recipes & Drink Suggestions Inspired By Our Favorite Pieces Of Literature” at Quirk Books

Boozin’ & Writin’

Here’s a new post I did for the fine folks at Quirk Books, about two of mankind’s greatest creations: alcohol, and literature.

“How To Drink Like Your Favorite Writer: From Hemingway to Bukowski” at Quirk Books

Haiku Beer Review: The Third!

Continuing in my established tradition from the Mass Brewer’s Fest and last year’s Winter Beer Jubilee, I present for you the latest installment of Haiku Beer Review, compiled at the 2012 Winter Beer Summit. I make tasting notes into my phone as the night goes on, so that I can turn them into haikus when I get home (and eventually sober up). I know, I know, I’m a genius, it’s true. Anyway, enjoy!

(Also, thanks to Dig Boston for the free tickets and for putting up with my whining. #thomdunnwantsbeer)

“Haiku Beer Review #3: Winter Beer Summit 2012” on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Gluten Free Homebrew! It DOES Exist!

I started homebrewing hard cider when I found out that my good friend and drinking buddy Charles had an allergy to hops (which I still assert is the most ridiculous allergy on the planet, even moreso than peanuts. Hops literally are not used for anything except for beer and the occasional tea! But I digress). Of course it was just a matter of time before another drinking partner of mine came forth with a different problem: celiac disease.

Meaning no gluten. Meaning no beer.

Okay, yes, sure, gluten-free beers do exist, but unfortunately, they’re not very good. And so, my good friend Jeff Marcus enlisted in my aid to help him create a homebrewed gluten-free beer that was exactly good! Something hopefully more hoppy and full-bodied (gluten-free beers are notoriously sweet and light-bodied), possibly even eventually something darker like a porter or stout (but that’s not for a while).

It’s currently way too early to deduce if our wild experiment was actually successful, but I’ll keep you updated as the fermentation process moves along. In any case, here’s the recipe for our Gluten-free HoneyHop Pale Ale (which is the name I just came up with right now and isn’t very good).

Top Ten

It’s that time of year again, when every website and blog and news outlet dials up their completely arbitrary criterium and publishes their “Top 10” lists for the year. This year I finally pulled off something I’ve been meaning to do for a while: a Top 10 list of “Top 10” lists of the year. A comprehensive list of the best of the best of the “Best Of” lists.

ME SO META.

“Top Ten ‘Top 10’ Lists of 2011” at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Night of the Living Undead Turkey

Drinking! Family! Revelry! Tryptophan! All the things that make Thanksgiving such a wonderful holiday! But then — what comes after? The barren wasteland full of angry zombies, near-comatose after having gorged on too much flesh and blood. So basically, after dinner time, Thanksgiving becomes kind of a post-apocalyptic landscape, the kind you see in Zombie films or Mad Max.

You can figure out where this is going, can’t you?

“Post-Turkeypocalypse” at FiveByFiveHundred.com