Tag Archives: five by five hundred

Who Is That Masked Man Anyway?

I have a new superhero identity.

I’m not really sure what my powers are, or if they’d be any use in a fight, but that doesn’t matter. I’ve now experienced the quintessential Spider-Man-esque (RIP) traumatic formative moment, and there is no turning back.

Today on Five By Five Hundred, I reveal my deep secret, the true origin story of my new superheroic identity: Regular Wednesday Comic Book Buyer Guy. A true hero for the modern age.

Read ahead, if you can handle it.

“Origin Story” on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Ghosts of Boston

Here’s a little excerpt from a larger piece of fiction I’ve been working on, posted over at Five By Five Hundred. It’s completely out of context, but that’s okay; I think it works alright on it’s own.

“Back On The Streets” at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Athbhliain Faoi Mhaise Dhaoibh!

(that’s “Happy New Years” in Irish, ‘natch)

It’s a busy end to the Holiday Season, with back-to-back-to-back celebrations, but here’s a quick update on some things. First, a little New Years poem I wrote over at Five By Five Hundred about 2012’s significant lack of jetpacks. I also wrote a little blog / essay about my brain as a writer entitled “Less Talk, More Rock” for the Boston One Minute Play Festival, which is this coming weekend, January 5-7, at Boston Playwrights Theatre, and features two short plays that I wrote. I have very specifically avoided rehearsals, so I’m excited to see what’s going to come out of the little bits of text I wrote. If you’re interested but unavailable to make it to the show, the 8pm performance on Sunday, January 6 will be streamed live on HowlRound’s NewPlay TV, so you can watch the whole thing from the comfort of your laptop.

That’s all for now; see you in The Future!

Merry Christmas (Eve)!

I figure must people are busy spending time with their families (as they should be!), so here’s a quick update for you to enjoy while you’re in the bathroom or waiting for family to arrive or whatever.

First, over on Five By Five Hundred, I whipped up a brief little parody piece after one of my own family’s favorite traditions that I think everyone can enjoy — “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas Break.”

And then there’s this:

You’re welcome. Merry Christmas! (and equivalent non-Christian holiday greetings, of course)

Molesting a Metaphor

Just a quick update — it’s been a rather intense weekend for everyone. But here’s my newest post on Five By Five Hundred, a quick little wordplay piece of prose that attempts to go too far on the idea of “molesting a metaphor” (based on a recent LitReactor.com article on how NOT to use a metaphor). I don’t know, it just sounded fun. Enjoy!

“It’s a Metaphor, Fool” on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Holiday Special

Today on Five By Five Hundred, I decided to kick off our celebration and excitement for the upcoming holiday season. No, not Christmas; I mean the end of the world! With only 12 days left until the supposed Mayan Apocalypse / World Shift / New Age / Another Boring Saturday Where Nothing Significant Actually Happens Or Changes, I decided to tweak one of your perennial holiday favorites and update it for the times. Enjoy!

“The 12 Days Of Apocalypse” on FiveByFiveHundred.com

ALSO! In case you don’t already follow the rest of the daily exploits on 5×500 without me telling you (for some bizarre reason I don’t know why you wouldn’t), we are currently taking submissions for a new weekly contributor to join us on Sundays! Follow link to learn all about the necessary submission information in handy haiku form. All we ask is that you post a new something every Sunday in keeping with the theme of the website. “What’s the theme of the website?” you ask, like some fool who hasn’t even been paying attention. “Glad you asked!” I respond through gritted teeth. I pause for a moment as I hiss in my breath and explain that the only criteria is that must write something and that it must be under 500 words. Poetry, prose, scripts, rants, memoirs, serial fiction, serial murders — whatever, it doesn’t matter, just as long as it’s under 500 words. Simple enough, right?

If you think you have what it takes, check out our submission guidelines. We look forward to hearing from you!

The Truth About Thom Dunn: Revealed!

I think when most people meet me for the first time, they get a pretty good read at who I am, and nearly all of them leave this first encounter with an awareness of most, if not all, of these essential Thom Dunn truths:

  • I really like comic books
  • I really like beer
  • I really like being awesome
  • I am awesome
  • I really like being Irish
  • I have much better taste in music than you, and if I don’t, I will gladly engage in friendly albeit heated debate with you about it
  • I really, really hate Journey

Most of these facts require very little explanation, but it’s the last one that does occasionally lead to controversy.

I’ve decided that it’s time for me to set the record straight once and for all, and explain myself to the Internets.

But keep in mind that the truth can sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow. I think I might be mixing metaphors there, but I don’t care. You have been warned.

“Why I Hate Journey (the band)” on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Too Busy

First of all, thanks to everyone who came to our Alejandro & the Fame show this past Saturday. We completely sold out the venue, which is always a cool feeling*, plus Shaymus Moynihan and the gang at the Midway treated us with some truly fantastic hospitality while we were there. (Read: free drinks)

Anyway, point is: it’s Monday, and after a hard day of writing, I’ve got a new piece up at Five By Five Hundred about time. We could all use more free time, yeah? And yet, somehow, no one blames the government. Maybe they’re taking all of our free time, hrmmm? Even though it’s supposed to be free?

Yes, I know, that sounds ridiculous. But it made for a fun little flash fiction sketch.

“FREE TIME” at FiveByFiveHundred.com

*Although, at the same time, it was kind of depressing, because apparently people come out in droves to see 5 guys shredding their way through Lady Gaga songs, but no one cares about original music. But I digress.

Tomorrow We Vote For Our Lovers

Because everyone’s obviously feeling inundated and overwhelmed with all of the political commentary consuming the Internet, I decided this week to give everyone a break, and write something quick and simple about love and romance for Five By Five Hundred instead.

Just kidding. It’s a metaphor, fool.

“New Girlfriend” on FiveByFiveHundred.com