New post on Five By Five Hundred about the secret history of that wretched poison that people actually pretend to like. Ugh.
Okay, so clearly I’ve been working on lots of larger writing pieces, which has gotten in the way of my standard Five By Five Hundred writing. But hey, writing is writing, so here’s another short excerpt from a piece I’ve been working, only this one is the very end of the story. So, ya know. Spoilers, sweetie.
Today on Five By Five Hundred, I decided to kick off our celebration and excitement for the upcoming holiday season. No, not Christmas; I mean the end of the world! With only 12 days left until the supposed Mayan Apocalypse / World Shift / New Age / Another Boring Saturday Where Nothing Significant Actually Happens Or Changes, I decided to tweak one of your perennial holiday favorites and update it for the times. Enjoy!
ALSO! In case you don’t already follow the rest of the daily exploits on 5×500 without me telling you (for some bizarre reason I don’t know why you wouldn’t), we are currently taking submissions for a new weekly contributor to join us on Sundays! Follow link to learn all about the necessary submission information in handy haiku form. All we ask is that you post a new something every Sunday in keeping with the theme of the website. “What’s the theme of the website?” you ask, like some fool who hasn’t even been paying attention. “Glad you asked!” I respond through gritted teeth. I pause for a moment as I hiss in my breath and explain that the only criteria is that must write something and that it must be under 500 words. Poetry, prose, scripts, rants, memoirs, serial fiction, serial murders — whatever, it doesn’t matter, just as long as it’s under 500 words. Simple enough, right?
If you think you have what it takes, check out our submission guidelines. We look forward to hearing from you!
First of all, thanks to everyone who came to our Alejandro & the Fame show this past Saturday. We completely sold out the venue, which is always a cool feeling*, plus Shaymus Moynihan and the gang at the Midway treated us with some truly fantastic hospitality while we were there. (Read: free drinks)
Anyway, point is: it’s Monday, and after a hard day of writing, I’ve got a new piece up at Five By Five Hundred about time. We could all use more free time, yeah? And yet, somehow, no one blames the government. Maybe they’re taking all of our free time, hrmmm? Even though it’s supposed to be free?
Yes, I know, that sounds ridiculous. But it made for a fun little flash fiction sketch.
*Although, at the same time, it was kind of depressing, because apparently people come out in droves to see 5 guys shredding their way through Lady Gaga songs, but no one cares about original music. But I digress.
It’s a classic time travel question: if you had the ability to change history and travel through time, would you go back and kill Baby Hitler to prevent the Holocaust from ever happening? But then, what has innocent little baby Hitler ever done — could you possibly raise him in a way to stop him from ever becoming the monster that he does, without killing him? It’s a great thought problem, but I propose a better idea:
Going back in time to kill M. Night Shyamalan, around the time that Signs was released. Because if you think about it, you’d actually be doing everyone a favor — including M. Night himself. He would be the victim of a mysterious murder, and remembered as a young auteur filmmaker who died before his time. He’d be remembered for such greats as Signs and Unbreakable, and the rest of us would never have to suffer through such insipid crap as Lady in the Water or The Happening.
This week on Five By Five Hundred, I explore this exact scenario.
I have to apologize for the radio silence here at ThomDunn.net over the last few weeks. Layne Anderson, a close friend and former roommate of mine, passed away unexpectedly on April 7th, and as much as I’ve kept up with everything (well, almost everything), time has been rather a blur. I’ve chronicled the situation as impersonally as possible over at FiveByFiveHundred.com in two posts — Shark Grief, about my own grieving process, and iWake, which as entirely fictional account of a some inappropriate gallows humor inspired by the situation of which Layne would have most certainly approved.
Meanwhile, this week’s entry steps away from the morbidity and explores the quantum mechanics of one night stands as interpreted through Bell’s Theorem, using the Shrödinger’s Cat experiment as a proof. Hopefully, that sounds ridiculous (and ridiculously intriguing) enough for you to check out Shrödinger’s Cat Call, also over at FiveByFiveHundred.com.
Also in the last two weeks, we’ve officially opened Sons of the Prophet at the Huntington, which is then moving to the Roundabout Theatre Company Off-Broadway in the Fall. Plus, I did some filming for Art & Design of the 20th & 21st Centuries and the Boston Print Fair, did a small reading of my new play, True Believers (which is set at a Comic Book Convention and features a cameo by the Cyborg Head of Stan Lee, among other things), and started rehearsals and arrangements for my (wait for it) all-male hard rock Lady Gaga tribute band, Alejandro & the Fame, which is going to be every bit as ridiculous as it sounds. Come check us out on May 20th at the afterparty for Propeller Theatre Company’s all-male production of Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors at the Huntington’s B.U. Theatre.
Woo. Okay. I think that’s it. Tune in next week for your regularly scheduled programming.
My fellow Emerson alum are all too aware that the ATM is possibly the greatest invention ever. This week, over at FiveByFiveHundred.com, my newest piece of speculative flash-fiction explores the future of the ATM, and the possible ramifications of artificial intelligence as it spreads to more pedestrian technologies.
Also, because sassy robots are just plain funny. And that’s what really matters. Enjoy!
- Automatic Teller Man at FiveByFiveHundred.com