I know, I know, this meme is awful, it never ends, and I can’t stand it. Sure, there are a few gems in there, but ugh, make it stop.
…so really by doing this, I know that I’m just perpetuating the issue, but I see it more as my chance to EX-TER-MI-NATE the meme, if you will. Plus, c’mon — admit it — this is funny. And I’m awesome.
@Horse_Ebooks is my latest obsession — a spam twitter account intended to sell, well, eBooks about horses. In order to avoid being deleted as a spambot (which it is), @Horse_Books tweets random phrases from…well, no one’s really sure. Sometimes, they’re obviously sample lines from various eBooks about horses. Other times, they’re just little two-word bursts, like “Boating Needs.” If you’re really lucky, you’ll get some brilliant non sequitur gem like “I wanted to make love to her like a crazed weasel. I wanted to make love to her like I was an aroused teenage boy at a drive” (Yes, that was not a complete sentence, which makes the whole thing that much more ridiculous and hilarious)
I decided to scroll through the @Horse_Ebooks twitter account and compile a list of some of my favorite 2-7 word incomplete sentence tweets, and turn them into a Found Poem. It was a lot harder than I expected it to be — some of those tweets make no sense whatsoever, and are even hard to string into some kind of narrative logic — but I’m pretty entertained by the results, and I hope that you are too!
“The Collapse of the Theory of Evolution in 50 Themes” (yes, that title is a complete tweet in and of itself) at FiveByFiveHundred.com
(also — follow @Horse_Ebooks, because it’s hilarious, and I guarantee it will brighten up your day)
I’ve been pretty busy writing and re-writing the script for my play True Believers, but we finally start rehearsals today, so I’m pretty excited.
Despite the gazillion pages I’ve written/re-written in the past week, I knew I still had a post due for Five By Five Hundred. I ended up scouring the YouTube comments on my Glenn Beck/J. Jonah Jameson mash-up video and found one particularly vocal YouTube commenter, whose breathtaking (really, the only word for it) diatribe I mined to create the “Found Poem” that makes up this week’s entry. It does go a little past the 500 word mark — but it was all too priceless to pass up.
Oh, and also, please note: I did no copyediting of any kind. I simply add line breaks for emphasis. The text appears entirely [sic].
I’d like to take a moment to thank the Internet for providing ignorance with a voice, and providing the rest of us with a constant stream of entertainment and funny pictures of animals.
I’ve posted a book review of My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, by Robert T. Jeschonek, over on DailyGenoshan.com, where I’m now a regular contributor. You can read the full review here. Recommended if you enjoy fantasy novels, rock bands, the internet, metafiction, and liking bands before they even exist just so you can tell your friends that you liked them first.*
*You like all of these things.